So when I found out I was pregnant with Grayson, Mark and I had only been ‘officially’ together for 8 months. Sure we we’re living together and recently engaged, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and that we loved each other. But bringing a new life into this world and raising it together was a whole other ball game.
I think my biggest concern is that not long after we had the baby, we would split and I’d be alone with a baby and unsure of what to do. I knew that the first year of having a baby was the hardest on your relationship, and had seen first hand from others how much it can change the dynamic of a relationship and just how you feel about each other in general.
I can honestly say, now that we’re 16 months down the line, that fear seems like such a distant memory. Sure we’ve had our blips at times (we aren’t perfect, but I’m extremely passive aggressive which is a pain in the arse the best of times, let alone with a new born). But I can honestly say there has never been a time where I’ve thought we wouldn’t make it, or that we’d break up because of the blips. I think Mark and I are both extremely lucky that we are such a solid team; we do pretty much everything for Grayson together, and even when we don’t, we don’t have to ask one another to do anything. We just know what needs to be done and that works for us.
Mark was an incredible birth partner and father and that has definitely helped because I can trust him and rely on him no matter what. The day after I had Grayson, because of the pain I was in (I probably left the hospital before I was ready and so didn’t have very strong painkillers) I physically couldn’t move to get Grayson. So Mark woke up with him every 45 minutes to do what needed to be done, as well as pushing me around in our computer chair because any movement was agony.
I also think what has helped us massively, is that we go out as “Ashleigh and Mark” occasionally, rather than “mummy and daddy”. It means that we can remember who we were before we had Grayson, but we can also remember who the other person is and who we are as a couple.
I’m so thankful everyday that it was Mark I ended up with as a joint parent, and our relationship continues to grow everyday and develop and we get to watch Grayson grow and develop, and their really is nothing better.