The thought of being a mum…..

After reading Mark’s perspective on becoming a parent, I thought why not chime in with my own thoughts and feelings!

I’ve always wanted children, every since I can remember I have wanted to be a Mum. At the same time though, it scares the crap out of me. Childbirth terrifies me, having someone dependant solely on me terrifies me, the fact that I can’t keep a plant alive for longer than a week and now I’m going to be responsible for a little person terrifies me. It all frightens the life out of me, but at the same time I always knew it was something I wanted.

One thing I don’t tend to admit to people is that for a long time I’d convinced myself I couldn’t have children. There was no reasoning behind it other than my own mind, and yet I was so sure. So when those 2 pink lines came up on that stick, my first thought was “fuck”. Plain and simply. I think I was more shocked than Mark, we had discussed children but I didn’t expect anything to happen quite that quickly.

I think being a female and finding out you’re going to be a Mum is slightly different, because the moment I found out I was pregnant- I was a Mum already. My little boy wasn’t even a little boy, he would have been the size of a raspberry and yet I still had to do everything I could to protect him. I think that’s one thing you can’t prepare for- how in a split second your whole ideology’s shift and you go “I need to do everything I can to protect my child”.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still terrified, but so so excited at the same time.